To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
birth control should be required to get into college
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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