would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
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Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
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I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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