He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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