i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
high people should be assigned attendants
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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