i need an iv and a liver transplant
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
