i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
