i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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