Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
