was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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