doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
