We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
