when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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