bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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