So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
