I think i peed on brittanys purse
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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