Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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