in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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