what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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