my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
