yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
