Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
