I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She even gives head with a lisp.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
