I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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