Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
