I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
