dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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