Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
