the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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