have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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