Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
