she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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