Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I would fuck him just for his dog
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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