I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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