boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize