i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
