I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
