Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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