This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
