So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
