Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
