I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
