my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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