Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
