Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm at about main and main street
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
