She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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