My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
