I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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