There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
