Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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