I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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