Having a random hookup so left but love u
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
