'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize