I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
