love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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