My friends, they love my intelligence
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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