ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
