I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
