Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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