DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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