Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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