spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just forgot I was standing up.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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