i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
