me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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