she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
