I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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